Takadisco

I almost died in Korea.

Ok, not really.  But I might as well have.  Because I experienced something so terrifying, so harrowing, that I felt as if I was near death.

But let's back up a bit and provide some back story here.  One week during school I heard rumors of the students taking a field trip on a Monday.  The last time the students had gone on a field trip I was left in the office alone for three days with a woman who insisted on speaking to me via Google Translate for the better part of an hour each day.  I almost went insane from that.  So this time I was hoping that I would be invited to come along.  But the week continued and no one mentioned anything to me so I assumed I was doomed to a life of desk warming for yet another day.

I showed up to work on Monday and was prepared to respond to emails, update my blog, and lesson plan.  All of those fun computer things that I can do at work.  But then at about 9:30 a teacher came up to me and asked if I would like to go to Jecheon, the next "big city" over, for the day to go to a park with the students.  I immediately said yes.

I then found myself sitting in the backseat of a different teacher's car (which inexplicably smelled like syrup) on my way to Jecheon.  We first stopped to drop his wife off at what appeared to me to be a gas station in the middle of nowhere and then detoured to the bank.  After these errands were finished, we finally arrived at Urimji.

Urimji is a lake that apparently has some ancient history to it and is important to Korea.  I don't know how true that is.  Someone told me that in passing but the lake seemed pretty normal and not overly revered to me so who knows what it is.  In any case, it is surrounded by a few places to eat, pretty scenery, and a tiny little amusement park.

As soon as I got there the teacher who drove left me in the hands of the students and went off with another middle aged male teacher to hide and likely smoke away the day.  Since there were no other adults there and I don't speak Korean, this left the students to take care of me all day.  The kids were really sweet and included me in their fun.  We went on a swan paddle boat ride around the lake and walked around talking and laughing.

The three girls I was with then asked if I wanted to ride Takadisco, one of the amusement park rides.  It looked like fun to me and I didn't want to be a downer so I agreed to go on.

We bought our tickets and then sat down on the ride.  Here's a picture of what it looks like.

Death Trap.  Or, in America, an attorney's dream.

As you can see, Takadisco is a circular ride that spins around while simultaneously tipping up and down.  I figured it would be a fun spin around, I would feel a little dizzy after, and we would all have a good laugh.

I was wrong.

Takadisco is a death trap.  What you cannot see in the picture and what I could not see before getting on, is that there is absolutely no way to strap yourself into this thing.  You just sit on the seat and lace your arms through the bars while it spins and tilts.  It is terrifying.

The ride began and after about five minutes I realized that the carnie running this thing was a sadist that hates his life and takes it out on innocent high school children and English teachers.  I probably should have figured this because anyone that is working at a run-down amusement park in small town Korea on a Monday is not in a good place in life.  The man would spin the ride around, shout things at me and the students in Korean, and then bounce us up and down trying to make us fly off.  One boy bent down to pick up coins that had fallen out of his pocket and I thought he was going to die.  It was terrifying.

For the first five minutes I had a bit of fun and smiled and laughed with the kids.  For the next five minutes I thought, "Well, this is nice but it's getting a bit old and we can be done now."  For the five minutes after that I thought, "I have to get off this ride."  And for the final five minutes I screamed "I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOU!!  I HAAAAAATE YOUUUU!!!!"  to the carnie in between begging the students to make him stop the ride.

Yes.  I was on this thing for 20 minutes.  No exaggeration.

Finally the thing stopped and I stood up, made the sign for "no" at the carnie booth, pointed at him, and marched off.  I grabbed my bag, walked off the ride, and tried to hold on to what little dignity I had left while fighting back tears.  I then calmed down and spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying the company of the students and shopping in Jecheon.

Hours later I thought to myself, "How could I have better prepared myself for that situation?"  And I came to the conclusion that I couldn't.  Because there is no way to mentally prepare for death trap Korean carnival rides.

My arms after Takadisco. These bruises lasted for two weeks. This should make you feel sorry for me.