Detox

I recently had a long weekend and took the opportunity to go to a town called Boryeong.  Boryeong is famous for it's Mud Festival.  You can google it and see a billion photos of foreign English teachers covered in mud.  That's mostly who goes.  But I went when the festival was not going on, partly because I had the time and partly because I don't like being around a billion English teachers at once.  They can do crazy things.

The town itself was a small beach town.  Nice but unremarkable.  I spent a lot of time relaxing and reading my book on the beach.  And I had a mud detox.

What does that mean exactly?  A detox?  I'm not sure really.  I just did it because I thought it would be an experience.  And it definitely was.

First I went to the sauna, a typical Korean bathhouse, and took a shower then soaked in the various pools of water for a bit.  That was fine and normal.  Then at my appointed time I put on my robe and disposable underwear.

Yes, I wore disposable underwear.  Have you ever done that before?  No?  Of course not.  Because you have your own underwear.  I do too, but I guess this was so the mud wouldn't ruin mine.  What is disposable underwear like?  Well according the package it's made in Thailand and according to me it's stretchy.  Like super, super stretchy.  The stretch on this underwear was infinite, it would literally fit someone of any size.  Have you ever used that stuff that goes underneath athletic tape?  It's kind of mesh and stretchy.  The underwear was basically like that.  Not meant to be worn every day.

I walked to the "Mud Experience Center" and handed my ticket to the middle-aged woman manning the desk.  She then led me to a shower room and directed me to take off my robe.  After doing so, she proceeded to paint my body with mud.  Like, all of my body.  Just me standing there with a middle aged Korean woman painting mud all over my body.  That was my life at one point in time.  The entire time she chattered on about the good qualities of the mud but I couldn't understand her completely.  I don't know Korean words like "nutrients" and "cosmetic benefits" because those words are not essentially for every day living.  After I was all painted up she led me to a room where I laid down in an egg and she wrapped a tissue blanket around me.  It was a loose swaddling.

I was basically like Lady Gaga in this egg.

Then the woman cranked up the heat, turned on the machine, and I laid inside of a vibrating egg for 20 minutes.  When I was done she had me rinse off all of the mud and that was it.  I was detoxed.

Did I feel different afterward?  No, not really.  Just normal.  It was relaxing but I don't think it was all that detoxing.  But since I don't even know what a detox is supposed to feel like maybe feeling normal after laying in a vibrating egg while covered in mud is a good thing.