Subbin's got Nothin' on Me

As part of my efforts to fully live the dream in Siouxland and have enough money to buy high quality eye shadow, I became a substitute teacher. Most people think that substitute teaching is one of the worst jobs in the world. And before I became one, I would have agreed with the masses. I remember nothing but terrible things that my childhoood classmates and I would do to our substitutes and certainly I feared that children had become even more evil and creative in my absence from high school.

Good news: They haven't.

I LOVE substitute teaching. And here's why: I love being bossy and in charge. I do not fear the children. And I love the challenge of having to know absolutely everything about any given subject on any given day.

Substituting has become one of my all-time favorite jobs, and part of that is because it comes with fantastic stories. Take for instance, yesterday. I was substituting in the resource room, where children go for help with their homework during the day. My first period had just one girl, and after a few minutes of working quietly, I looked over at her and she just seemed out of sorts.

Taleen: "Jenny*, how're you doing over there?"
Jenny: "I don't feel so good."
T: "Ok, well let's turn off the heater and see if that helps at all."
J: "I think I need to stay by the trashcan."

I then go get the trashcan and she proceeds to throw up.

Taleen: "Ok, let's get you to the office."
Jenny: "What do you think I should do?"
Taleen: "I think you should go home, Jenny."

WTF child!??!?! When you get sick, go home. Life lesson for my readers.

*Names of children have been changed in order to protect them from crazy people.  I'm considerate like that.